Infinite Monkey

Infinite Monkey http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/ Also known to my thralls as Ethelred Unraed, future swaggering tinpot dictator of the Universe. Married (consort's codename is BoE), had our first heir in 2004, known to the masses as The Confessor. Second little minion of my glorious cause and fellow member of the House of Unraed, codenamed Gloriana, arrived 2005. Graphic designer. Did numerous tech-related websites and designs for software. Quoteable quotes The real problem with euthanasia is that it requires consent. --Iamthefallen In other news, the 9th Circle of Hell has submitted an impressive bid for the 2018 Winter Olympics. -- KR Nietzsche! Gesundheit. Ethelred confirms it: Netcraft is dying. Those who most actively seek power deserve to hold it the least. --me Wed, 20 Aug 2008 18:57:07 -0000 Sun, 17 Aug 2008 20:48:06 -0000 Infinite Monkey http://images.infinitemonkey.multiply.com/logo http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com 100 100 Baseball in Germany has interesting equipment requirements For the hell of it, I was checking Amazon.de to see if they have baseball equipment, since our local sports store has stopped carrying anything (though I did get a couple gloves dirt cheap on the closeout). Amazon.de does, in fact, carry baseball stuff. However, their "Better Together" feature -- Wird gern zusammen gekauft in German -- is, uhm, interesting. Amazon even helpfully lets you order both at a discount. Yup. German baseball apparently requires pepper spray. (Presumably for the umpires.) Meanwhile on the "customers also bought" list are such items as tear gas canisters, ski masks, black US Army ballcaps, and black leather gloves. Baseball is such a wholesome sport for kids, don't you http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/photos/album/47/Baseball_in_Germany_has_interesting_equipment_requirements Sun, 17 Aug 2008 20:48:06 -0000 Volleyball: Man-folk or hooter-bearers? http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/journal/item/324/Volleyball_Man-folk_or_hooter-bearers Thu, 14 Aug 2008 21:38:00 -0000 It's 'Ow My Boobs' in Chinese! While looking for Monty Python's "I Like Chinese" on YouTube, I found this...thing.(Video somewhat NSFW if your employer is uptight...though I suspect most would find this as morbidly fascinating as I do.)I especially love the sound effects and inflating boob special effects.It's "Ow My Boobs", Beijing edition! http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/journal/item/323/Its_Ow_My_Boobs_in_Chinese Thu, 14 Aug 2008 06:34:00 -0000 America's election: The view from "over here" From my observations, the people of Europe are evenly divided into two groups: those who want Obama to win and think he will, and those who want Obama to win, but think "they" won't let him. I have found myself in the rather bizarre position of occasionally having to defend McCain as not being that bad. Meanwhile there is no clear support for the Unraed-Dragon ticket, proving that democracy is a total joke. http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/journal/item/322/Americas_election_The_view_from_over_here Wed, 13 Aug 2008 10:53:00 -0000 Evidence of...well, something Late last night I was: 1) dog tired2) had a migraine3) had just taken a triptan for the migraine and was thus doped up4) majorly bored So I was sitting at my computer with an ice pack on my head, hoping the triptan would kick in and get rid of the headache, surfing the Web a little. I noticed a friend on Facebook had taken some IQ test. What the hell, given my condition, this should be funny, I thought. The test informs me I have an IQ of 145. Is this like that WKRP in Cincinnati episode where <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Johnny_Fever">the Doctor's</a> reflexes got better when he's drunk? http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/journal/item/318/Evidence_of...well_something Thu, 7 Aug 2008 13:45:00 -0000 Holy...! http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/journal/item/317/Holy... Wed, 6 Aug 2008 16:14:00 -0000 Countdown to doom Remember, if the world ends in about a week, it's all Europe's fault. http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/links/item/52/Countdown_to_doom Thu, 31 Jul 2008 19:41:58 -0000 [Sermon] Loaves and fishes The following is a draft of the sermon I'm giving this Saturday at our monthly English service. Your comments and criticisms would be appreciated. <h3>Sermon for Proper 13, Lectionary Year A </h3><a href="http://www.io.com/~kellywp/YearA_RCL/Pentecost/Aprop13_RCL.html">(Isaiah 55:1-5, Psalm 145:8-9,15-22, Romans 9:1-5, Matthew 14:13-21)</a>The Gospel reading today contains one of the most famous stories of the New Testament: the story of the loaves and fishes. The symbol of the loaves and fishes, like the mosaic on the cover of the bulletin, is one of the oldest associated with Christianity, perhaps older even than the Latin cross that most people think of when they have our faith in mind.The reading from Isaiah also wonderfully foreshadows the loaves and fishes story. The prophet says, »Ho, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and you that have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.«If you look at only those two readings, shorn of their context, and take them at face value, you’d get the impression that Christianity ... http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/journal/item/316/Sermon_Loaves_and_fishes Wed, 30 Jul 2008 17:39:00 -0000 Be careful what you wish for Remember <a href="http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/journal/item/305/WTH_happened_to_summer">this?</a> Today's high: 95°F (35°C). Not a cloud in sight. Just to make things interesting, I'm getting a cold. http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/journal/item/314/Be_careful_what_you_wish_for Mon, 28 Jul 2008 14:04:00 -0000 Silly political video OK, it's basically content-free, but it made me http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/links/item/51/Silly_political_video Mon, 28 Jul 2008 08:54:00 -0000 Gloriana's division of the spoils In the car earlier, as we were pulling away from our apartment, Gloriana was talking to the Confessor as the two were sitting in the back seat (BoE was in the passenger seat). At first I wasn't paying attention to what she was saying, then it hit me. She was telling the Confessor, pointing at me and BoE in turn, "That's my Daddy. And she's your Mommy. That's your Mommy, and that's my Daddy." And the Confessor was nodding in agreement. Er...okay...bringing new meaning to "Daddy's girl", I guess. God help us if we have a third kid. (Footnote: Lately if the Confessor does something that Gloriana doesn't like, she'll bark at him "Gotoyourroom!" Unfortunately for her, the Confessor just ignores this, and BoE and I sit there trying desperately not to giggle, and not entirely succeeding.) http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/journal/item/312/Glorianas_division_of_the_spoils Fri, 25 Jul 2008 15:30:00 -0000 Colbert on Anglicans http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/links/item/50/Colbert_on_Anglicans Fri, 25 Jul 2008 15:17:37 -0000 What I really want in a President The best President right now would be one who is unGodly boring, in every http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/journal/item/311/What_I_really_want_in_a_President Fri, 25 Jul 2008 09:41:00 -0000 How many Macs have you bought? Just had another unwanted debate with an Apple fanboi about malware in another forum. Someone asked if you needed anti-virus software on the Mac. I said it wasn't a bad idea. Said fanboi chimed in to insist there are no viruses for Mac. I pointed out that it was naïve to assume that it would stay that way as Apple's market share climbs out of the single digits. I was duly informed that I was a Windows partisan and that said person has had a Mac for three years and never had a problem. I told him I just bought my tenth Mac in 17 years, and he finally shut up. Then it hit me: I've had quite a lot of Macs, now that I think about it. Mac IIsi Performa 630* Performa 6200* PowerMac G3 MT/266 PowerBook "Pismo" G3/500 PowerMac G4 2x450 MHz PowerMac G5 2x2 GHz iBook G4 1.2 GHz Mac mini G4 1.2 GHz Mac Pro * - OK, technically these two were bought by BoE at the time, but she got some of my Macs in return. :-) plus ones I got for free: PowerMac 9600 (later bumped up to a 500 MHz G3)iMac Rev. ALC II ...makin... http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/journal/item/309/How_many_Macs_have_you_bought Tue, 22 Jul 2008 21:48:00 -0000 Dear America: Please don't fall for cults of personality I just made the point in Smooch's blog and will do it again here: If I smell a cult of personality forming, it's an excellent way to drive me away in a hurry.I can't help but notice the (probably unintentional, but still present) parallels in the following:<img src="http://www.barackobama.com/static/Posters_Signs/obama_change_01.jpg"><img src="http://celebritydeath.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/che-guevara.jpg">and<img src="http://www.barackobama.com/static/Posters_Signs/obama_change.jpg"><img src="http://blog.wired.com/gadgets/images/lenin37.jpg">Meanwhile I got a phone call yesterday from the main Hannover newspaper asking if I was going to Berlin to see Obama's speech. I said no. Her reaction was typical: zOMG HOW CAN YOU NOT GO?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! IT'S OBAMA!!!11!!!!!!Please. Why should I care?The over-the-top hero worship of Obama is really nauseating. I was always lukewarm for Hillary, but Obama is succeeding in making me downright sick. If people would just admit he's just another politician and stop putting him on a pedestal, I'd be happy to support him. But the constant fellating of the man is ludicrous.I wonder who the Grass Roots Party is nominating for President. http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/journal/item/308/Dear_America_Please_dont_fall_for_cults_of_personality Tue, 22 Jul 2008 11:47:00 -0000 The Mighty Mouse is apparently not for me :( When I got my new Mac Pro recently, I got a wireless Mighty Mouse to go with it. What I didn't think about: I am a walking talking grease slick. Seriously, I have extremely oily skin, and my keyboards and mice quickly get gunk on them as residue from my hands (even though I wash pretty often). President Bush has even considered drilling me. (I turned him down. I'm more for some hawtt Cheney lovin'.) So I've had the thing less than a month, and the scroll wheel is already gunked up enough that it refused to scroll anymore. Had to get some alcohol wipes and try to clean it. Seems to work, but dayamn, that didn't take long. <img src="http://images.multiply.com/common/smiles/confused.png"> http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/journal/item/307/The_Mighty_Mouse_is_apparently_not_for_me_ Tue, 22 Jul 2008 09:20:00 -0000 Preview of "The Dark Knight" Yup, I gotta go see it! http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/journal/item/306/Preview_of_The_Dark_Knight Mon, 21 Jul 2008 14:00:00 -0000 WTH happened to summer? We had a phase back a couple months ago where it was unusually hot -- got up well into the 90s Fahrenheit -- but today we have a high of 60°F. And a steady drizzle. Crud. Supposed to warm up dramatically by the end of the week. I needs dat. I likes me hot summers, even if A/C isn't too common 'round these parts. http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/journal/item/305/WTH_happened_to_summer Mon, 21 Jul 2008 13:31:00 -0000 Metropolis: Complete at last <img src="http://learn.bowdoin.edu/italian/dante/metropolis1.jpg"> <a href="http://justarb.multiply.com/links/item/149/Robbery_Under_Arms_1920">Arb's post about an Australian silent movie</a> reminded me about this story from earlier this month. For anyone who's into film history, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0017136/">Metropolis</a> -- a movie from the high-water mark of the German film industry, when Babelsberg competed with Hollywood's best -- is a true classic. Even today, though it is a silent movie, it is eminently watchable and the special effects quite impressive. Sadly, complete prints of the movie have been lost for years, so any time you saw a copy of Metropolis, it invariably had gaps in it, usually filled by text trying to explain what the curators think should have been there based on best guesses and old reports. Imagine a movie like, say, Blade Runner with the scenes where Tyrell gets murdered and parts of Roy's soliloquy are missing, and you get the idea (a nice parallel, since parts of Blade Runner were clearly inspired by Metropolis). Now a complete print has been found in Argentina, of all places. It will finally be possible to piece togeth... http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/links/item/49/Metropolis_Complete_at_last Sun, 20 Jul 2008 16:54:24 -0000 The Verve: Love is Noise Before you watch this video, let me point out one reason it gave me chills.There is an <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/And_did_those_feet_in_ancient_time">English Christian hymn</a> that is in a sense the unofficial national anthem of England:And did those feet in ancient time Walk upon England's mountains green? And was the holy Lamb of God On England's pleasant pastures seen? And did the countenance divine Shine forth upon our clouded hills? And was Jerusalem builded here Among those dark satanic mills? Bring me my bow of burning gold! Bring me my arrows of desire! Bring me my spear! O clouds, unfold! Bring me my chariot of fire! I will not cease from mental fight, Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand, Till we have built Jerusalem In England's green and pleasant land.The words formed the basis of much of the symbolism used in the movie Chariots of Fire (the title itself is taken from the hymn).If there is a song that caputures English sentiment, its traditions and dreams, it's Jerusalem -- the idea of England as the literal, enlightened Kingdom of God. It refers to t... http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/journal/item/304/The_Verve_Love_is_Noise Thu, 17 Jul 2008 09:09:00 -0000 Father Christian Troll, redux You may recall <a href="http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/links/item/45/The_spectacle_of_Christian_trolling">this link</a> posted a few weeks ago. Fr. Christian is <a href="http://gafcon.blogspot.com/2008/07/sins-of-jensen-father.html">at it again</a>: As everyone knows, I am a peaceful man except when angered, and believe the shedding of blood can never lead to peace if one's enemy is not wounded fatally. Indeed. Wise words. <img src="http://images.multiply.com/common/smiles/star.png"> http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/journal/item/299/Father_Christian_Troll_redux Mon, 14 Jul 2008 22:16:00 -0000 Explain. http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/journal/item/298/Explain. Mon, 14 Jul 2008 21:52:00 -0000 Committing a grave sin...well, to arb anyway This morning I had a medical appointment, and on the way home I stopped at a local Indian store to get tea and spices and various other things. On the shelf I spotted some jars of Marmite. I figured, what the hell, haven't had Marmite or Vegemite for a very long time (since 1994, to be exact). So I got a jar, came home and had a Marmite sandwich. Arb will now tell us why Vegemite is better. :-) http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/journal/item/297/Committing_a_grave_sin...well_to_arb_anyway Mon, 14 Jul 2008 12:19:00 -0000 [Sermon] Gardening The following is translated from German – I mention that because there are a few spots where the phrases don't translate well into English. This was the sermon I gave yesterday when I was subbing for our priest, who's on a trip this week.<h3>Sermon for the Fifteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time</h3>(<a href="http://www.nccbuscc.org/nab/071308.shtml">Isaiah 55:10-11, Psalm 65:10-14, Romans 8:18-23, Matthew 13:1-23</a>)I don't know who of you likes to work in the garden or in the fields, but if so, then today's readings are just for you. The opening hymn, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morning_Has_Broken">Morning Has Broken</a>, fits this theme. All that's missing are the chirping of birds and perhaps as a Communion hymn the<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAbwMGZtIsY"> "Morning Mood" from the Peer Gynt suite</a>.Today we hear about seeds, sprouts, blooms and grains. That all has something to say, a mystical meaning, a message for us. Unfortunately for us modern people, we tend to associate different things with gardening: mowing the lawn, trimming the hedges, pulling weeds, maybe spray against bugs. It's all about appearances, largely a façade for the ne... http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/journal/item/296/Sermon_Gardening Mon, 14 Jul 2008 10:09:00 -0000 I am a sexist feminist Today I had to run the church service once again (this seems to be habit-forming). As it happens we use the Roman Catholic lectionary used in Germany, but with a few minor modifications, and sometimes if the translation is a tad blatantly sexist (such as using "Brothers" instead of "Brothers and sisters" in the Epistles), then we either modify the text accordingly, or more rarely, use a different translation. Today was one of those days -- the epistle was littered with pretty obviously masculine choices for translating what in the original are more neutral terms. The person I asked to do the readings, a friend who is also Gloriana's godmother, is a bit strongly on the feminist side of things. She is also rather short. I asked her to do the readings when she arrived before the services, she noted that the lesson's translation was rather over the top, grimaced, and asked if she could use another translation. I said sure, which one do you want. She asked for the "<a href="http://bibel-in-gerechter-sprache.de/">Bibel in gerechter Sprach... http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/journal/item/295/I_am_a_sexist_feminist Sun, 13 Jul 2008 23:10:00 -0000 Dinner Tomato-basil bagel Gorgonzola cream cheese on one half, sun dried tomato and garlic spread on the other (i.e. what some Americans often mistakenly call "bruschetta") Parma ham Salame Milano Thin slices of fresh Parmesan Cucumber slices Washed down by the leftovers of a bottle of Cab that had to go. http://infinitemonkey.multiply.com/reviews/item/12 Sat, 28 Jun 2008 21:46:02 -0000