That does it, no more jokes for you!

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A man is working on the buses in Texas collecting tickets.

He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.

"Well," says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?" "Yes," answers the executioner. The man asked, "Can I have that green banana?"

The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it.

"Can I go?" the man asks. "I suppose so," says the executioner, "that's never happened before."

The man leaves and eventually gets a job back on the buses selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas.

The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch?" says the condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in the chair. The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.

Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The executioner rigs up the entire American electricity supply to the chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.

"What's your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Well," says the man, "can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch?" The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner pulls the handle and a brazillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark.

"I give up," says the executioner, "I don't understand how you can still be alive after all that?" He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana, isn't it?" he asked.

"Nah," said the bloke, "I'm just a really bad conductor."

Last week, Gloriana had her routine checkup at the pediatrician for her second birthday. BoE took her there (I had to take the Confessor to a different appointment and couldn't go) and told me about what happened.

The doctor had her do some tests to check on her development, and Gloriana kept exceeding expectations rather wildly. One in particular was pretty funny -- she was going to ask Gloriana to make a tower out of some bricks, but she'd hardly finished asking when Gloriana was already half-done.

On a similar note, for her birthday last week one of her godmothers gave her a puzzle with cutout animals, supposedly appropriate for two-year-olds (well, she did turn two). Gloriana unwrapped it, dumped out the pieces, and promptly put them right back in exactly the right spots without batting an eye. The godmother grinned and suggested eBay. :-)

Meanwhile it's become a running joke about how Gloriana leaves a trail of socks behind her wherever she goes. From all the grannies whose socks she charms off. Gloriana likes to chat them up, is all smiles and giggles, they coo over her and her blonde curls and big smile, and pop their socks are off, and off to the next granny she goes.

Somewhat oddly, lately she seems more interested in baseball than the Confessor. If the Braves aren't on, he won't watch (or only grudgingly), but she'll curl up next to Daddy and watch anyway, and gets into it.

That's my girl. :-D

Naturally I'm already having her fitted out for her chastity belt and constructing the high tower to lock her away, being a good father and all.