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For the hell of it, I was checking Amazon.de to see if they have baseball equipment, since our local sports store has stopped carrying anything (though I did get a couple gloves dirt cheap on the closeout).
Amazon.de does, in fact, carry baseball stuff. However, their "Better Together" feature -- Wird gern zusammen gekauft in German -- is, uhm, interesting. Amazon even helpfully lets you order both at a discount.
Yup. German baseball apparently requires pepper spray. (Presumably for the umpires.)
Meanwhile on the "customers also bought" list are such items as tear gas canisters, ski masks, black US Army ballcaps, and black leather gloves.
Baseball is such a wholesome sport for kids, don't you think?
From my observations, the people of Europe are evenly divided into two groups: those who want Obama to win and think he will, and those who want Obama to win, but think "they" won't let him.
I have found myself in the rather bizarre position of occasionally having to defend McCain as not being that bad.
Meanwhile there is no clear support for the Unraed-Dragon ticket, proving that democracy is a total joke.
3) had just taken a triptan for the migraine and was thus doped up
4) majorly bored
So I was sitting at my computer with an ice pack on my head, hoping the triptan would kick in and get rid of the headache, surfing the Web a little. I noticed a friend on Facebook had taken some IQ test. What the hell, given my condition, this should be funny, I thought.
The test informs me I have an IQ of 145.
Is this like that WKRP in Cincinnati episode where the Doctor's reflexes got better when he's drunk?
In the car earlier, as we were pulling away from our apartment, Gloriana was talking to the Confessor as the two were sitting in the back seat (BoE was in the passenger seat). At first I wasn't paying attention to what she was saying, then it hit me.
She was telling the Confessor, pointing at me and BoE in turn, "That's my Daddy. And she's your Mommy. That's your Mommy, and that's my Daddy."
And the Confessor was nodding in agreement.
Er...okay...bringing new meaning to "Daddy's girl", I guess.
God help us if we have a third kid.
(Footnote: Lately if the Confessor does something that Gloriana doesn't like, she'll bark at him "Gotoyourroom!" Unfortunately for her, the Confessor just ignores this, and BoE and I sit there trying desperately not to giggle, and not entirely succeeding.)
As everyone knows, I am a peaceful man except when angered, and believe the shedding of blood can never lead to peace if one's enemy is not wounded fatally.
Today I had to run the church service once again (this seems to be habit-forming). As it happens we use the Roman Catholic lectionary used in Germany, but with a few minor modifications, and sometimes if the translation is a tad blatantly sexist (such as using "Brothers" instead of "Brothers and sisters" in the Epistles), then we either modify the text accordingly, or more rarely, use a different translation.
Today was one of those days -- the epistle was littered with pretty obviously masculine choices for translating what in the original are more neutral terms. The person I asked to do the readings, a friend who is also Gloriana's godmother, is a bit strongly on the feminist side of things. She is also rather short. I asked her to do the readings when she arrived before the services, she noted that the lesson's translation was rather over the top, grimaced, and asked if she could use another translation. I said sure, which one do you want. She asked for the "Bibel in gerechter Sprache" (the name doesn't translate well, but more or less means "Bible in gender-neutral language" -- yes, it's a politically correct Bible ). I said, not really my cup of tea, but if that's what you want, there is a copy in the sacristy.
She went in, then cleared her throat loudly at me and waved me into the sacristy with a sheepish look on her face. I came in, she pointed at a high shelf where the book was perched, and asked me if I could get it for her.
I grinned and said that there was something delicious about a woman having to ask a man to get her a feminist Bible.
I mentioned before about how our parish is likely going to have a full-body baptismal pool, rather like the ones in early churches (such as at Ephesus).
Yesterday at church I suggested we have a slogan:
"The Old Catholics. We baptize until the bubbles stop."
A colleague of BoE's is an Englishwoman who has lived in Germany since she was 11. She speaks fluent English, of course, but she freely admits that since she missed her teen years in the UK, she's utterly lacking in slang.
She told the story of how she once was back in the UK for some months and organized a baseball game, for which she made a poster with the title:
Get to third base with Caroline
Attendance was, ahhhh, very high.
She had no idea about the innuendo in the line and was mortified when she found out.
80% of Germany's 50 oldest existing companies began as monastic breweries.
The oldest company in Germany (and sixth-oldest in the world), the Bayrische Staatsbrauerei Weihenstephan, founded 1040 by Benedictine monks, is the oldest existing brewery in the world. It is now owned by the state government of Bavaria.
Somehow that little nugget says everything about Germany: its history, its thing for beer, and the belief in the mission of the government to secure supply of vital things (like, well, beer).
Found here in German, translated into English by yours truly.
Shocking news in never-before presented context
What industry has for long kept silent:
It can no longer be kept under wraps. The health and social consequences of consuming bread lead to the urgent conclusion that bread should be added to the list of controlled substances. Here are the results of a UN study about this dangerous baked good:
More than 98% of all prisoners are bread consumers.
Half of all children who live in households where bread is consumed perform under average on aptitude tests.
In the 18th century, when bread was still baked at home, the average life expectancy was only 50 years; the mortality rate of children was unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; epidemics such as tuberculosis, flu and cholera terrorized whole nations.
More than 90% of all violent crimes take place within 24 hours of consuming bread.
Bread is made from a substance known as "dough". It has been conclusively proven that a mouse can choke on as little as a pound of dough. The average German eats at least this much each month.
Tribes of primitives who are not familiar with bread have fewer cases of cancer, Alzheimer's and Parkinson's.
Bread has been proven to be addictive. When bread is withdrawn from people and they are only given water, the people beg for bread within two days.
Bread is an entry-level drug. It leads to the consumption of other substances like butter, marmelade, peanut butter and even sausage.
Bread absorbs water. Since the human body is made of 90% water, bread can turn it into a thick, wobbly mass.
Newborn babies can go into shock from even small amounts of bread.
Bread is baked at a temperature of over 200°C. This temperature would kill a human being within a minute.
Most bread consumers are not able to differentiate between facts and statistical manipulation.
Yeast, a component of our bread, is made of bacteria. Uncontrolled use of it can lead to serious health problems in the bowel.
In recognition of these facts, the UN strongly recommends member states to undertake the following steps:
No sales of bread to the underage.
National TOAST: JUST SAY NO campaigns, supported by TV spots and informational materials.
300% tax on bread to reduce the damage caused by bread.
While some of the humor will be lost on those of you not following the ins and outs of the current intra-Anglican spat over homosexuality (you probably have better things to do with your time) I present to you a blog that is true genius. The blog of one Rev. Dr. Christian Troll, Doctrinal Warrior, Vicar Superior at St. Onuphrius' Church of Ichabod Springs.
There are even atheists there with whom the good reverend jousts good-naturedly to great effect. (The linked entry is a good example.)
This is truly a brilliant piece of satire. GAFCON is really a group of evangelical Anglicans threatening to split the Anglican Communion ("Global Anglican Future Conference"), hence the name, which he morphs into "God and Father Christian, Obscuring Nothing". The blogs he links to in his profile are of the more virulent anti-gay (and in some cases anti-female ordination) type in the Anglican blogosphere.
In particular he has fun roasting the evangelical* Anglicans that are trying to not just leave the church, but take valuable property with them -- and have repeatedly been caught with their hands in the cookie jar.
* - I hesitate to use the word "conservative" to describe them, because frankly I think conservatives have a bit more honor than that.
In this week's issue of The Economist, there is an article about an international forum investigating the spread of AIDS worldwide, particularly the reasons for why it spread faster in Africa than elsewhere.
They came to the conclusion that one reason is because it is supposedly common for people in Africa to have a long-term, open network of lovers outside the marriage, as opposed to the "serial polygamy" practiced elsewhere in the world.
BoE and I have the theory that this refers to men exchanging their harems en masse.
). I said, not really my cup of tea, but if that's what you want, there is a copy in the sacristy.
